This week has been a week of resilience and working to overcome fears. My biggest worry has been the injections. It’s not the pain of a shot though I get the heebie jeebies seeing a needle penetrate my skin. I’ve always had to look away for shots or bloodwork. It got worse after a syncopal event from the COVID vaccines. I’d hype myself up reading other people’s stories of IVF and their experiences. Others would chime in noting the needle is so small you won’t feel it, yet minimizing that it’s not the needle itself, it’s the ability to look at the injection site and self administer.

It was a learning curve the first few times. B sat with me while I gave myself the first injection. It did not hurt though my body was still in fight or flight making me clammy and sweaty. After the first injection, I knew I could handle the next one all by myself (or so I thought).

The following morning came and I did my injection though I forgot to breathe, locked my knees and nearly fainted. Sitting down is definitely the way for me to go. That night we agreed to have B prep the injection and administer it. It was another way for me to work on trust with injections. He did great and was respectful of my boundaries.

The following night is when we bumped up to three injections; Leuprolide, Follistim and Menopur. My anxiety was through the roof. I was handling one injection but the thought of three shots morning and night was overwhelming me. Especially, because I read and was informed by my nurse that Menopur does sting. Now I’m equating pain into the mix. I administered the injections over a twelve minute period due to my anxiety.

The Menopur isn’t as bad as what other were describing or maybe I have a high pain tolerance but it is over before you know it. It does sting as you inject it but the sensation for me dissipates quickly. Icing the area before hand I think helps with the stinging sensation which has been working. Also injecting the medication swiftly has helped as well.

Since realizing the injections don’t hurt, the sting is temporary and remembering to breathe stims are becoming easy peasy. On average it takes me about 3-5 minutes to complete the shots. Prep though is a bit time consuming for three injections.

I like to have my sterile area where I can lay out each syringe/ pen, medication and alcohol pads. I invested in a silicone mat to lay everything on and keep clean by wiping it down with alcohol before each use. It the. Easily rolls up and can be put away when not in use.

Discomfort is now random. When starting stims I couldn’t definitely feel the discomfort regularly. Now if I move a certain way that’s when it’s exacerbated. Ultrasounds are definitely more uncomfortable at this point as multiple follicles are growing. More information to come at our next monitoring appointment. The downside is my belly looks like a pin cushion the upside is thankfully I am not bruising currently. I’ll take the positives where I can get them. I feel I am now finally starting to embrace this journey and I am hopeful where it will take us.

-A