I will say this week has been better than last. I feel I am managing better. I spoke with a colleague yesterday that went through IVF nearly 20 years ago. I appreciated her sharing her experiences and lending a listening ear.

Today I finally heard from the Financial Counselor. It’s frustrating that they keep saying it’s not infertility since B elected to have a vasectomy. I think they are forgetting he had his vasectomy reserved and is still struggling with secondary infertility and me with my DOR/ PCOS is strong indicators for infertility. The difference financially is drastic to me. $10k if insurance agrees it’s medically necessary and if not then it’s $20k for just one round of IVF and FET.

This should be a standard in healthcare by now. Infertility impacts 1 in 8 people. I decided to do a pre-approval for a fertility loan. By myself I was eligible for just under $15k. I am only able to pull $20k from my retirement though I’m not sure that would be the wisest as I’m conflicted at staying at the VA if I cannot really utilize my LCSW.

My first therapy appointment with my new therapist went well. She’s easy to talk to or maybe it’s easy because I know the thought process. I appreciated her use of ACEs and ennograms. I never thought about how living with my father in law is technically a stressor. She agreed my focus should remain on IVF and put myself first.

I do feel journaling has been helping me keep a level head this week. I’m hopeful to keep doing it to see how this progresses over time.

-A